1 June 2009

A Tribute to "Failed Feelings"

This is exactly the fate of emotions when they run too high- they spill over. How to gather up and unwrap these feelings (treasured and kept in custody for so long) which are too accustomed to the darker corners ?

The fire that fed these feelings was thriving on the leftover heat but it was bound to get cold, like most other living things. The irony is that every time when she thought that the evening was about to give way to the dark night(at last), there arrived a singular note that would be enough to keep the fire of hope burning and let her continue with her dreams. But the one who should have felt the underpinnings of these hidden admiration failed to see through even after she had tried every possible way to make the emotions legible but this seemed to be one feat utterly impossible to be accomplished. She never knew she was so hard to read.

She has been always left ashore.

Life is simple if seen from one undisturbed angle, we make it complex and unruly, it seems. Her fault lies in the fact that she lives in a hyped world of her own where everything is so happy: happy thoughts, happy faces, happy dreams, fulfilled feelings. But the reality is severely simple. This note written as a tribute to her failed feelings (failed because it never saw the light of the day, failed because it means nothing to anybody, failed because she had no right to feel them, anyways) will be drifted away in the saline river of tears, may be. The words will get blurred but she is happy to see that other people are getting more reasons to smile and be happy. A part of her world thus survives with the collective collusion of other's happy sides. Not everyone is required to end up like her.

A banished angel treading on the path smeared with the blood of her own failed feelings that were never understood.

7 after-thought(s):

Anonymous said...

hey nice words....may be the words is the hope/expectation which causes the problem...if u have time see this I read this it was quite good...http://aniketh4u.blogspot.com/

Anorak said...

Floating in the rivers that she had known but even they seem to search for reasons to see her through to the shore...i wish someone tell them that feelings are never guided by reasons...Alas! once again, she is left ashore....keep walking!!!

Sujoy Bhattacharjee said...

Leaning towards the style of Marquez and Cohelo...
Picking up the shattered glass pieces of life, trying to find meanings in unfinished sentences, unspoken thoughts, the resignation and finally the realisation. Happiness need not always be first-hand, it is possible to live in reflected happiness...all that is needed is a little bit of altruism.

PS: The theme matches your blog title.

modern exile said...

@Anonymous:
well, expectation is only one of the causes, definitely but the intrinsic abilities have their own reasons for making us 'expect'.
I'll be checking out the blog link.
Thanks for the visit.

modern exile said...

@Anorak:
Aha! this was precisely the point I wanted to establish but I invariably (and intentionally) left it in a broken stance.
You almost got a verse out of it.

modern exile said...

@Sujoy Bhattacharjee:
It is so good to find you here after such a long time.
Well, I guess you adapt to the writng styles you read the most(and like as well).
Like you said:
unfinished sentences
unspoken thoughts
the resignation
and the ultimate realisation

The more pronounced it becomes, the more it haunts you, the more it sinks in that you're growing up(and growing old).
Altruism gets hned in the process, may be.
PS:
It was the very thought behind the creation of this blog but then for the fear that it would start reeking with the pallid odour of frail emotions, I took a different turn. Now, its just an occasional outburst.

atanu nath said...

...painful...