21 February 2009

Irregular Distractions....

Ah!! The delights of easy, relaxed, empty days. We are not having classes at the university these last few days and its is making me so happy as now I'm entitled to more "me-time". I wonder what to write( Because I'm spoilt with options). The world has so much to tell, so many news and gossips run around everywhere but still I’m left with nothing to describe but then the realization sets in that I write for myself and some people have accidentally become a part of these lone conversations. I have so much to tell but then I don't chose to give away everything.
Strange fascinations are an integral part of all of us. We just don't know where they reside, inside. They have a silent existence but suddenly they do raise their head, particularly at inopportune moments and then .. Well, thats how stories form, I guess.
How we love ‘certain obscure things’.. I wonder why some things and feelings never fade. I leave with these words. Don’t muse over its meaning because it is not meant to mean anything. These are just passing thoughts on an ordinary day, the tired eyes spin a tale out of the most mundane things and this is what one is left with --

I see you in a crowded place
I become tired of the noise and the everyday happenings.
Too much of non-fiction has worsened my habit
And then that sudden shift in your lips, flashing a smile at me,
Raises a little hope, again gives form to hidden meanings,
Little by little.
I know I should not be thinking anything-
So I only let the petty pleasure exist for some few more seconds.

18 after-thought(s):

voice of silence said...

non-linear thoughts, intertwined by logical and illogical webs of reasonings, evokes cobwebs of visions but within the periphery of these feelings lies the momentary sweetness of hope, dreams and hapiness....keep walking!!!

modern exile said...

And may be, it is precisely for this "momentary everything" that i keep on imagining: Something is always better than nothing. Thanks for finding reason behind my 'Non-reasons'.

still thinking !!! said...

Anything momentary is essentially serene,

It transcends rationality, reasoning and logic

‘Momentary’ lingers much more than 'interminable'.

Law of Marginal utility I suppose, as I once use to say

still thinking !!! said...

I like the way u construct a model for story conceptualization:

"Integral and latent strange fascinations suddenly raise their head from their silent existence, particularly at inopportune moments, and spur into stories"

nice work

wont say anything about the poem though

Sujoy Bhattacharjee said...

Random scribblings make for some interesting reading and interpretations.
But the post somewhere seems to imply that your blog is in danger of stagnating.

modern exile said...

that was the exact fear that drove me to write it...my writing is not going anywhere... i feel so creatively numb.. i need SERIOUS help!!!
all kinds of suggestions are welcome

ShantanuDas said...

"some people have accidentally become a part of these lone conversations"
-- That is true! But we like to hear the thoughts.

modern exile said...

You know Shantanu, I never expected anyone and I mean ANYONE to be part of these conversations but I have come across a few good people in the process. I want to keep writing.

ShantanuDas said...

I believe you M and I know what you mean. Something inside us makes us write things which normally we cannot say clearly in the offline world- not that they are abnormal things or bad things, but the thoughts are of such type that one cannot just suddenly throw up at friends at the coffee table or in the classroom or at home to the family and so on.. These thoughts are manifestations of the inner self - the true "I" that I am. So when you started writing here you came here because you just wanted to vent your thoughts to the air.... and what happenned? You found that the world is so big.... that it also contains good people.. similar people... ...

your world just got wider! You can feel you too belong somewhere (besides belonging to your family/ friends etc)

ShantanuDas said...

and by the way.. I don't think anybody can suggest creativity... it is within you. And you have it. What may be blocking you is your mind telling you .. hmm this is too personal.... not to be told to the world.. still I think there are two major ways of keeping a blog running- i.e. a blog that depends on written matter. Either you pick up topics from the world and start commenting.. sprucing it up with humour.. or write about your day to day life... editing the events to make them interesting.. the trick here would be perhaps to find the funnier side of your life every day (Sujoy does it sometimes.. like that cockroach post he wrote once!).

And of course you could be like me.. what I used to be earlier.. just sharing your feelings.. feelings that come to you in the real world.. that you cannot tell anyone else.. but can tell here.. eg one of my post.. >>

which is best love

--One day I was thinking "can I love more than one?" this made me write this post. Of course when I started writing direction of my writing changed!! lol!

happiness

-- this I wrote because I was thinking of happiness...

-- Once I liked a colleague of mine.. and so wrote this

Friendship among colleagues

and so on..
of course my first post was when my dad died.. and I could not express it offline..

Iwish I hugged him

There are a few others...

So in short what I am saying, M, is that this is a 3rd way of writing.. you just let yourself loose.. online.. and share .. that is all that is needed to be write.. creativity is not the goal...
:-)

ShantanuDas said...

Tsk Tsk.. my html codes/ URLs are all wrong.
Anyway the blogposts that I referred above are all in this blog of mine. I do not write much now. but these may just give you another idea of what and how to write.. but as I said M you already are an expert!!

http://sdas-relationship.blogspot.com/

modern exile said...

Thanks S for all the concern. You have hit the nail on the head when you say I'm being held up with the decison of censoring and how much to censor. Will go through your earlier posts and keep in mind what you've said
and the 3rd way of writing..

ShantanuDas said...

hehe!! You got me foxed for 5 mts!! I was wondering who this "S" is that she is referring to! Then it struck me like a delayed starter.. that you are calling me "S" because you found my calling you "M" as amusing or James Bond Like maybe.. hehe.. but then I do not know your name do I?

I have a fear about my comments... they tend to become longer and I cannot allow it can I! Nahh... I cannot hog your space and post and write more than the author wrote..! but the danger is there as you can see.

Come on go on writing .. do not hesitate... we are all waiting..
And come to think of it.. I came to your site from someone else's maybe Sujoy's... because of the name.. Leftovers of Solitude..

Your current post's --> "They have a silent existence but suddenly they do raise their head, particularly at inopportune moments and then .. " , like all others make me think sometimes.. like this one made me want to ask you something...

.. have you ever felt that sometimes silence is more communicative? Do you feel silence to be more friendly than constant chatter? I feel it is wonderful to have somebody in life with whom you need not speak but can sit side by side and remain silent.. doing something.. or doing nothing.. just silence.. and yet not feeling silent at all?

. I feel some people like silence more than speech and at times these same people want to vent their thoughts through writing...
:-0)

BTW if you are reading my earlier posts then do not forget that they are on a different Blog.. ULR given earlier.

modern exile said...

hah!!! and u really did make me very Dame Judi Dench'ish...jokes apart, yes, many a time I do feel that silence has a stronger existence and at times you actually crave for them, there is so much chaos already- silence is golden.
I've been to your earlier blog via the url you'd provided. I've to keep writing...

modern exile said...

Btw, is that ur childhood picture????

ShantanuDas said...

Hehe! I think 'M' is very appropriate indeed!!

Yes that issss my childhood picture... (siggghhh.. I thought you will think it is my current one!)-- and hmm going by the Mother's badge on my chest-- it would be when I was 8 yrs old..

Since we were talking of "silence" and that too in "Solitude" and one always does these in the dark..so.. I thought my earlier picture of red eyes... might scare people away .. so I searched for a sweetly cute one (since I do not believe in revealing current data openly- who knows! I may have enemies prowling for me!!)

I like this picture of mine actually.. for just one reason.. I feel I am still this innocent boy inside those wide eyes that cute smile.. (hey! do not laugh!!) .. however different I may look now with frowns and all!!! Hmmmmmm.. This is what my silence takes me back to at times... besides hearing the sound of one's heart beating...

--yess! Keep writing.. I could write pages and pages...once..

You can now - I am sure !! Do it.. just let your inner self go! .. it is very exhilarating...

:-))
"S"

modern exile said...

to be honest.. your 'RED EYE ' pic did scare :)

ShantanuDas said...

hee hee!!
:-))